Disclaimer: this one is really just for me, rather than because I have been doing anything particularly interesting or noteworthy.
I’ve been stuck in a bit of a rut recently, which has meant that updates here haven’t been as regular as I would like (although to be honest they were sporadic at best anyway). It’s a funny thing how you can go through phases of motivation, and as I have had a lot going on in my life and as I was without anything to really train for I haven’t been working very hard on the bike. This in turn means that when I do ride I feel slow and that in turn takes some of the enjoyment out of it.
I have also been struggling with motivation because I feel as though when I do ride, I am not making any gains. Rather, I’m going backwards: less skills, less fitness, wrong headspace. Don’t get me wrong, the good rides are still good, but they are too few and far between. I’ve also been eating badly and hitting the sauce far too regularly.
Tied in with this has been the stressful period of finishing up all of my honours work, competing in a lot of races (and not to the best of my abilities), a new job, exam marking for the old job, and a very sudden, unplanned and unideal house move which was out of my control.
The thing is though, all of these are just excuses. There is always an excuse if you look for one, and for the last few months, I’ve been looking. But it’s one of those lose-lose situations: I get on the bike and feel slow (lose) or I find an excuse, don’t get on the bike, and feel guilty (lose).
So what does all this mean? How can I interpret this? I think it is mostly mindset – at the moment, mine is currently bad. From here on out I plan to turn mine around, which is why I have written this piece. It is time for me to start focussing on the positives, particularly the progress I have made. I need to remember it is no good comparing myself to my friends on the bike, needing to accept that they are both fitter and more experienced than I.
I want to have a crack at Karapoti this year and from my limited understanding of scientific training, I think that means I need to start now. I’m looking forward to this. I know I’m not going to be a top 10 finisher or anything of the sort for Karapoti, and don’t really think I can crack the 3hr mark, but a vague goal time of 3:15 to 3:30 seems plausible.
To this end I am going to start a second blog, specifically for Karapoti training, as a form of motivation. I don’t really expect many (or any!) people to read it, but maybe it will provide an insight into this sort of training for some of my ‘less athletic’ friends, should they stumble across it. I am also going to write about a few of the biking experiences I have had recently, the PNP series, a well overdue write up of single-speed worlds, and a positive reflection on the progress I have made with biking so far. I’m also going to reflect on my year of honours, something that was a pretty tough time for me.
So there’s a bit in the pipeline, and all of it is something to be positive about. Life’s taking a turn for the better with a great new flat, and the hard work for honours has paid off too, so all in all things are good.. Hopefully I will soon be out of this rut for good.
