Monday, January 23, 2012

Michael J. Hayward's guide to happiness


"The J stands for Jolly"

Believe it or not, I tend to be a rather cheerful person - regardless of whether life has been stamping repeatedly on my gonads. Sure I might complain some, but just to make the days go by. I guess I prescribe to ‘gloomy optimism’. And it works for me. My life is superb.

But it wasn’t always this way, oh no. As a teenager and into my early twenties, a mild depression was the parrot on my shoulder. While some of it was likely age related, I’m convinced that a lot was not. Amongst other things, it led to an alcohol problem that impacted negatively on years of my younger life.

Something had to change, and it did. Honestly, a lot of it was mind-set. I had to want to change. It took a while to find what worked for me. I see a lot of sadness about and it isn’t the goods. What works for me may not be for you. But hell, maybe it’ll help. So here is my guide to my happiness.



Enjoy the little things - daily.

There’s always going to be things which happen during the course of your day which are smileworthy - a nice view, a cup of coffee, getting out of the rain and cold. Just yesterday I enjoyed all of these and more. I was truly happy about it. It was more than enough to make my day good. Enjoying the little things keeps you positive.

Life goes in swings and roundabouts.

Yeah there are some shitty bits in everyone’s life. It happens to the best of us. These bits just add texture. You need a bit of crunch. The bad times give you the context so you can appreciate when life’s great. On the flipside, because life goes in cycles, when things seem bleak you always know an upwards swing is coming at some stage. So when life gives you a shit sandwich, pick up a fork and tuck in. The sooner you finish, the sooner you can use mouthwash.

You gots to chill.

When things happen, they’re almost never as bad as they seem. So take it easy. If you can change it, do something about it. If you can’t, work with it. There’s no room for worry there. Just relax and let things resolve themselves - because they inevitably will. If you’re chilled they’ll probably work out better for you. So keep that blood pressure down.

Do the things you enjoy.

Or at least do things that make it possible to do the things you enjoy later. If all you have in life is work and you hate your job, you’re going to be miserable. My point is, find something you really love doing and ensure you create time to do it. Regularly. All work and no play makes Jack a bland, sad little man, so to avoid becoming Jack make sure you play as much as you realistically can.

Take life as it is.

Wishing for things isn’t going to get you anywhere. Fantasy belongs in fiction. Cope with life as it is, not as you wish it could be. The sooner you view life in real terms, the sooner you realise it ain’t so bad after all.

Work towards something.

Have a project, goal, or vague dream and take some steps towards it. It doesn’t need to be much but you want something to get you out of bed in the morning. Take steps to make it happen. If you want to go travelling, set up an account you can’t touch and put away some pennies. Look into where you want to go. Make a move, make some plans. make a schedule; make things happen.

Take some risks

Obviously I don’t mean doing anything life threatening, just getting out of the old comfort zone. No risk, no reward. Worst case scenario is you learn something from it. So what’s stopping you?



Like I said, these things may not work for you as well as they work for me. But something will, you just have to find what it is. It may not be easy and it may take time but I believe everyone is capable of getting themselves to a state of relative happiness. And if my experiences are anything to go by, then it will multiply. You owe it to yourself to spend some time and effort working out what makes you happy.

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